Parties like these can be more personal than those at a public venue, but that comes with its own benefits and drawbacks, too. You may be expected to play with everyone there, or at least not be obvious as to who you’re less interested in. They may be invite-only, or you may need to “know a guy,” and there will sometimes be a host who you need to thank. Sex parties in private residences are, well, private, and usually smaller, so the expectations of attendees are different. House or apartment parties in private residences are usually free, but not always - larger ones may require a fee or have a suggested donation. Public venues (warehouses, sex clubs, bathhouses, et al.) may require a ticket or charge an admittance fee. Know if the sex party is happening at a venue or private residence.
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If you’re at a bathhouse or a private party, you should probably lose your shoes and socks, too.ģ. This rule of thumb really only applies to official venues - circuit parties, sex clubs, and so on - where you may be naked but keep your shoes and socks on.
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Tall socks (the fetish wear brand Nasty Pig sells a good collection) make for a perfect place to stash your ID, credit card, cash, lube, and other essentials when you shed the rest of your clothes. My queer identity is tied immovably to the most intimate parts of my life the men I fuck, the men I kiss and grind in public, my positive HIV status, my sex parties, my slutty nights. Queer sex is and always will be a middle finger to the hetero establishment, a threat to the dominant paradigm, and - for this queer man, at least - the most beautiful part of my life. A sexual component has always underscored Pride’s history as a collective community defiance, an act of celebration and visibility.
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Let’s get one thing straight: Pride may have started as a protest, and its function within the community may be in flux, but among other things, it has always been about sex. This June, a particularly slut-shame-y meme made the rounds online, which claimed to espouse what pride “is.” it juxtaposed a black-and-white photo of an early Pride march with signs and fists raised, captioned “THIS IS PRIDE,” next to a photo of two men grinding each other on a float with speedos and rainbow flags, captioned “THIS IS BULLSHIT.”